


Permafrost

by bananaquit



Category: Dead Poets Society (1989)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 15:12:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17327345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bananaquit/pseuds/bananaquit
Summary: Neil's dead and the world is cold.





	Permafrost

**Author's Note:**

> Written mostly by tumblr user gay-white-bread with edits and additions by me. Posted with permission.

It was a cold and snowy night. The white powder was covering the hard, frosty ground. The way the snow was coming down was similar to a different night. The same night that Neil… wasn’t around anymore. Meeks couldn’t help but dance around the word “died”. It just seemed too final. He couldn’t bring himself to say it. He’d lost track of time about a couple hours ago, but if he were to guess he’d say it was close to 4:30 AM. He was sitting up in his bed, knees drawn toward him. It had only been a week or so since that night. Meeks couldn’t keep track.

Everyone was in what he called “the numb phase”. They were all going through the motions, everything a blur. But that night, he started to finally think about what happened. How he could’ve helped if he just knew how Neil felt. Hell, he was in that place not too long ago. If Neil just told his friends what was going on, how he felt, maybe he would be alive. But he wasn’t. And he would never be alive again. There was a lump in Meeks’ throat and he could feel the lump getting bigger.                                  

”Shit,” he whispered. He tried to wipe away the tears on his face, but they only kept falling. He could feel his breath getting faster and faster until he was practically hyperventilating. His crying was only getting louder and louder. He was trying to muffle the sounds with a pillow, but the Welton pillows weren’t exactly soundproof.

Pitts wasn’t a heavy sleeper, so he woke up to Meeks’ sobs, confused by the noise. He looked over and saw his boyfriend curled in on himself, holding a pillow to his face to stifle the sobs. Pitts immediately sat up upon realizing what was going on and pushed back his blankets, then stood up and crossed over to the other side of the room. He sat on Meeks’ bed, the mattress producing an audible squeaking sound as his weight came to rest on it. He reached out a tentative hand to lay it on Meeks’ shoulder.

“Meeks…” he managed softly. Meeks shoved his hand off and somehow shrunk even more into himself. Pitts persisted, putting his hand back on Meeks’ shoulder.

“Meeks, please just talk to me.” His voice cracked. Meeks shifted to sit up, staring into Pitts’ eyes for a moment before leaning forward and burying his face in Pitts’ chest, still tense. He was starting to calm down, but not enough to talk. 

“Can you just… hold me?” Meeks finally managed. Pitts wrapped his arms around him and leaned into him. Meeks finally let out a breath, his body relaxing just a little. They leaned against the wall like that until Meeks’ breathing began to even out. Sleep came slowly but surely as the dawn, surely as the two would find a way to be okay. Someday. Together.


End file.
